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Public page of Newman

Newman

Humanist, blogger, web developer

I am the creator of this site, which I hope will be useful to many people who wish to establish deeper and more meaningful human relations and improve the current ones. For any questions, comments, suggestions and collaboration proposals, do not hesitate to contact me.

Age: 71     Gender: M
Languages: English | French | German | Italian
Seek/offer: Self-knowledge | mutual knowledge | friendship | language exchange | intellectual co-operation
Education: High school
Religion: Atheist or agnostic
Psychological type: Introvert
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Member of: Vivere con filosofia, UAAR, Createca, Caffè Freud
Time since last visit: 2 days
Country: Germany   State/Province: Bayern
City: Munich    Zip Code: 83083
Skype name: visible only to registered users
Profession: Manager
Smoker: No
Current relationship: Married
Living with: With spouse or partner
Answers to self-interview: 144 (it)   137  
Personal web site: visible only to registered users
Social network: visible only to registered users

Self-interview  

Introduction  
My interests, hobbies, habits
- Social sciences (especially psychology, sociology, philosophy)
- collecting aphorisms and quotations
- developing web applications
- photographing
- improving my skills in foreign languages.
- playing the flute
- I spend a lot of time with my computer, writing my thoughts, developing software, looking for information, reading;
- I am member of various cultural associations
Details about what I seek and offer
I am looking for persons who share my interests,.for company and exchange of ideas
Things that worry me in my life
My difficulty to adapt to the mindset of 'normal' people
Things that worry me in the lives of the persons who are important to me
I hope my children will meet the right persons with whom to build their families
Things that worry me in the lives of all human beings
- resistance to change
- risk of local and global wars
- environment pollution and climate change
- overpopulation and global poverty
My personality  
My nature and character
Calm, reflective, introvert, affectionate, serious, conscientious, determined
How introvert / extravert I am
Introvert
What I find good/beautiful in life
The possibility of learning new things, creating, changing and improving things within and outside myself.
What I find bad/ugly in life
The incomprehension between human beings
How easily I feel shy
When I was young I used to be shy, not any more
How stable is my mood
Quite stable
I prefer to lead or follow?
Leading
How conformist I am
Very little
How orderly and inclined to discipline I am
Much
How important sincerity is for me
Very much; if I have to lie I feel bad
How jealous I am
Average
How envious I am
I never envy a person for their possessions or their success. I may envy persons for their beauty, strength, intelligence, wisdom, courage and usefulness to society.
How arrogant or presumptuous I am
I don't think I am arrogant or presumptuous. However I am sometimes perceived so because I have personal ideas that I like to express and discuss. And also because I can hardly refrain from objecting any statements that I consider wrong or false.
How lazy I am
Average
How creative I think I am
More than average
How much I fear death
I am not afraid of dying, although I hope this will not happen too soon, because I still have so many things to do.
How much I try to adapt to society as it is and how much I try to change it
I cannot accept society as it is and want to do as much as I can reasonably do to contribute to its improvement.
How narcissistic I am
Average
My preferences and tastes  
What I appreciate most in a person
- the ability to make the others feel at ease
- the ability to laugh at oneself
- the ability to question oneself and doubt of the validity of ones own convictions
My favorite types of readings
- non fiction (essays) especially on social sciences and humanism
- some novels with psychological depth
My favorite vacations (places, activities, company etc.)
Being retired, I am always on vacation; I prefer to spend my vacations at home; sometimes I like to travel with my family, and explore cultures different than ours.
Films I like
Films by high quality authors
My favorite music types
Classic, jazz, blues, funk jazz, bossa nova
My favorite places
Casa mia
Persons I consider role models
Piero Angela, Corrado Augias, Gian Luigi Stella, Sam Harris, Alain de Botton e molti altri
My favorite sports (watched)
I find sport-watching boring
Nutrition forms chosen (vegetarian, vegan, omnivorous etc.)
I eat anything, but very little meat. I could live without meat.
Books important to me
Vedi "libri che mi hanno cambiato la vita"
Traditions I like
New Year's concert from Wien
Traditions I dislike
Religious traditions
My favorite objects
My cross trainer, my computer, my camera, my car, my flute
My favorite comedians and humorists
Woody Allen, George Carlin, Gigi Proietti, Loriot, Corrado Guzzanti, Caterina Guzzanti, Paola Cortellesi, Francesca Reggiani, Carlo Verdone, Alberto Sordi
My favorite film directors
Stanley Kubrik, Federico Fellini, François Truffaut, Werner Herzog, Clint Eastwood, Paolo Sorrentino, Sidney Lumet, Mario Monicelli, Ettore Scola
My favorite quotes
Doing the right thing is more important than doing the thing right (Paul Drucker)

Life is a state of mind. (From the film 'Being There')

Love consists of overestimating the differences between one woman and another. (George Bernard Shaw)

Creativity is connecting things. (Steve Jobs)

When one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion. (Robert M. Pirsig)

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. (Carl Gustav Jung)

Man can do what he wills but he cannot will what he wills. (Arthur Schopenhauer)
My favorite philosophers
Nietzsche, Schopenhauer
My favorite writers
Albert Camus, Oscar Wilde, Richard Dawkins, Emile Cioran, Balzac, Stendhal, Thomas Mann, Goethe, Alessandro Manzoni, Luigi Anepeta, Erich Fromm, Daniel Goleman, Paul Watzlawick, Eric Berne, Nietzsche, Schopenhauer
My favorite actors / actresses
Meryl Streep, Clint Easwood, Vittorio Gassman, Alberto Sordi, Carlo Verdone, Paola Cortellesi, Sofia Loren, Marcello Mastroianni, Toni Servillo, Henry Fonda
My favorite classical music composers
Mozart, Haendel, J.S. Bach, Liszt, Gershwin
My favorite pop musicians and singers
The Beatles, James Taylor, Luigi Tenco, Sergio Endrigo, Enzo Jannacci, Procol Harum, Paul SImon, Billy Joel, Sergio Cammariere, Stefano Bollani
My favorite towns
Rome, Munich, Paris
My feelings  
My fears
- fear of being misunderstood
- fear of being considered arrogant or presumptuous
Things I am passionate about
Creativity, civil progress
Things that irritate me
Advertising
Things I could never forgive
Nothing if the person regrets what has done
How much I can stand solitude, how often I feel lonely
Sopporto la solitudine molto più della media degli altri. Mi sento generalmente solo in quanto non trovo persone che condividono le mie ricerche.
How selective I am in social relations
Much
Things that bore me
- Sports watching, commercial music, repetitive things
- nromality
Things that make me suffer
Ignorance, stupidity, presumption, conscius and unconscious violence by most people.
Things that move me
- act of generosity without second ends
- demonstrations of fraternity and solidarity
Things about which I cannot joke
Aboiut misfortune (genetic defects, disabilities etc.)
Things I cannot tolerate
Lying by adults
Things I am proud of
My children
Types of persons I hate or despise
i prevaricatori che competono con la forza anziché con il talento e la ragione
What I feel for human beings in general
People who compete by force instead of talent or reason
How I react to accusations and criticism
I worry and try to understand the reasons of accusations and criticism. If I think they are founded, I try to improve (if I think it is possibile and right)
Things that soften me
Children and adults who know how to interact with children
What I like about my work
The sense of power I feel when the computer does exactly what I want from it
My wishes and motivations  
My desires
- more friends
- do something good for society
- to be able to laugh about things I fear
- understand how mind woks and divulge this knowledge
How satisfied I am of the life I live
I think I am luckier than the average
Things I have missed
True and deep friendships, teachers who made me love literature, history, the arts
Things I would like to learn
- playing the flute well
- speaking German well
Habits I would like to quit
The habit of talking with others about things about which I am passionate but do not interest them.
My projects
Writing a book about human nature
What I would like to change in my mentality
I would like to be more flexible in my ideas and opinions
My needs that are dissatisfied or conflicting
My need for community is frustrated and conflicts aganist my need for liberty
Things I would like to know
How human mind works
What I would do with 100 million dollars
I would create a foundation for the research and divulgation of the humanities
What I want to do before I die
Write a book with my experiences, to be left ad my legacy
My social relationships  
How much I am interested in the ideas and feelings of others
Very much
How much I need other people's approval
Much, but I can also proceed without it
What I expect from a friend, what true friendship is for me
- sincerity, even when truth hurts
- availability to help me when I need it
- absense of envy and jealousy
- understanding of my weaknesses
- respect for my freedom
- common interests and ethical principle
What I am doing for the common good
Not enough
For what I would like to be recognized / appreciated
More than being recognized, I would like to be desired as friend or collaborator
What I can offer for free
- counsulting about computers
Do I feel recognized / appreciated enough by the people close to me?
si ma non per gli aspetti che per me sono più interessanti.
How much I am able to understand what the others wish or expect from me
Not enough. I often make the mistake of believing that others think like me, that we have similar feelings. Often what they expect from me is very different from what I expect from them.
For what I feel misunderstood
My ability and inclination to analysis, and my rationality are sometimes seen as arrogance, inhibition, lack of emotions.
Persons who have helped me and to whom I am grateful
My parents
My story  
My successes
- when I was appointed officer during my militaty service
- when I was awarded a high rank in the IT course by the first company I worked with
- all the times I looked for a job and found it
- when I was appointed manager
- every time I got a salary increase for my achievements
My failures
- the times I was not able to speak in public
- the times I started a project that was not feasible
My first memories
The punishments I received from my father because of my disobedience
Disappointments I have had
My first marriage
Persons against whom I have fought
My father
Books that changed my life
- Knowledge of Man (Alfred Adler)
- Man fo himself (Erich Fromm)
- Escape from freedom (Erich Fromm)
- Manwatching (Desmond Morris)
- Brave new world (Aldous Huxley)
- Timido, docile, ardente... (Luigi Anepeta)
- Tonio Kroeger (Thomas Mann)
- The selfidh gene (Richard Dawkins)
- Vital lies, simple truths (Daniel Goleman)
- Pragmatics of Human Communication (Paul Watzlawick)
- La politica del Super-io (Luigi Anepeta)
- Beyod good and evil (F. Nietzsche)
- Communities (Zygmunt Bauman)
The job that gave me the most satisfaction
Developing IT applications
Errors I have made
When I was young, I did not study and read enough. I thought I already knew all the important things in life.
My self-evaluations  
How I appraise myself
Enough
My virtues and qualities
- critical thought
- analysis and synthesis
- creativity
- sincerity
- coscientiousness
- reliability
My faults and defects
- not realizing when someone is bored while hearing what I say
- I get easily enthusiast for ideas that after a while show their uselessness or non feasibility
How intelligent I think I am
More than average
How much I feel useful, and to whom
- to my relatives
- to my suppliers of goods and services
In what areas I think I am not competitive, incapabale
- in making myself likable
- in understanding other people's feelings
- in foreseeing the behavior of others
- in being diplomatic
In what areas I think I am competitive, capable
- in speaking foreign languages
- in writing
- in analyzing problems
- in debating
Whether I think I am a debtor or creditor to society
Debtor
In what way I feel different from the others
I can't be normal, I fear normality
In what way I feel equal to the others
I also need to interact with other human beings, to be integrared in society, to be recognized, taken in consideration, loved, respected.
How mature I think I am
Not enough; I always want to grow, to improve.
How free from mental cages I think I am
More than average
My ethics  
My ethical principles
I try to follow the ten commandments cited by Richard Dawkins in his book 'The God Delusion':

1. Do not do to others what you would not want them to do to you.
2. In all things, strive to cause no harm.
3. Treat your fellow human beings, your fellow living things, and the world in general with love, honesty, faithfulness and respect.
4. Do not overlook evil or shrink from administering justice, but always be ready to forgive wrongdoing freely admitted and honestly regretted.
5. Live life with a sense of joy and wonder.
6. Always seek to be learning something new.
7. Test all things; always check your ideas against the facts, and be ready to discard even a cherished belief if it does not conform to them.
8. Never seek to censor or cut yourself off from dissent; always respect the right of others to disagree with you.
9. Form independent opinions on the basis of your own reason and experience; do not allow yourself to be led blindly by others.
10. Question everything.
What I think of tax evasion from an ethical point of view
It's like stealing, with the difference that instead of stealing a big sum of money from a person, one steals a little sum of money form many persons.
My opinion about prostitution
It's inevitable. The state must not forbid it, but regulate it, in order to limit the exploitation, pedophilia, crime and health hazards. Moreover, it could be taxed.
My opinion about pornography
Same answer as for prostitution.
My opinion about homosexuality and bisexuality
Homosexuality (alone or as bisexuality) is not an illness or a deficiency, but a preference, probably of genetic origin. It should be respected as a human right. Homofoby should be punished ad any other violation of human rights. I am also in favor of child adoption by homosexual couples.
My opinion about abortion
It's an exclusive right of the woman concerned.
My opinion about altruism and egotism
Thay are both present in our DNA, in proportions different from person to person. Both have their reasons. This world would be much better and confortable if there were more altruism and less egotism. In any case, it is important to understand other people's needs besides our own ones.
My opinion about war and pacifism
War is the most stupid things a human being could do, but absolut pacifism is even mor stupid. In some cases, avoid war would mena to submit oneself to stupid and violent persons or to be destroyed. Hitler would have become master of the entire world if no state would have made the war against him. It's easy to be pacifist when there are nonpacifists that protect you.
My opinion about euthanasia
It is a right that should be granted to everybody.
My opinion about the death penalty
I am against it
My opinion about torture, and whether I think it should be allowed in particular cases
I am absolutely against it
My ideas and views  
My religious beliefs
I am atheist; I think that religion is a delusion needed by the unconscious in order to overcome the existential anguish due to the idea of death, and the absence of a cosmic father; I think that even the most intelligent people can be blind to the absurdity and the contradictions contained in the sacred scriptures of their religions. I think religions also satisfy the innate need for community, present in every human being.
My views on marriage
Come diceva Schopenhauer, "sposarsi significa dimezzare i propri diritti e raddoppiare i propri doveri". Nonostante questo credo sia una cosa buona, se si trova la persona giusta e si ha la disposizione giusta.
Do I believe in destiny? That all things follow a predetermined plan? That nothing happens by chance?
No, I believe in the laws of physycs, in genetics and in chance.
My political orientation
Progressive, reformist, democrat, partly liberal
Whom I consider responsible for society's ills
The majority of its members, some more, some less
What I think intelligence is, how I would define it
- the capacity of processing complex ideas
- the capacity of seeng things in their multiple connections
- the capacity of seeing good and evil in everything and everyone
My views on the use of drugs and their legalization
I don't think drugs are useful; in many cases they are harmful. Nevertheless I think they should be legalized and taxed in order to curbe the crime around them.
What I think of love, how I would define it
There are various types of love, same are even harmful and ill. For me the good love is where one wishes the good for the loved person more than one's own good. This includes wishing to increase the liberty, power and independence of the loved ones.
My philosophical orientation
Pragmatist, rationalist, constructivist, structuralist
What I think an individual can do to improve society
Try to understand human nature by means of science, avoiding to believe in religious and traditional teachings.Look for alternative ways to interact and communicate, based on scientific discoveries, especially from neuroscience and psychology
My views on masturbation
It's no problem, neither medical nor moral
My views on psychology, psychotherapy, psychologists and psychotherapists
There is no unique psychology nor a unique type of psychotherapy. There are many, and most of them have something valid. is it an error to pick one and not consider the other ones. Psychologies, together with neuosciences are necessary in order to understand human nature and help those who suffer mental disorders. As regards professionals of psychology and psychotherapy, there are good and bad ones and it is very important to be able to choose the right ones.
My views on astrology
Silly things
My views on esoterism and magic
Without scientific proof, I do not take them in consideration.
My views on reincarnation
I doubt it is possibile, there are non scientific proofs about it.
My views on religions different from mine
I believe all religions are based on delusion and self-delusion
My views on free will (reality or delusion?)
I am afraid it is a delusion, however I prefer thinking that it exists, although in rare moments. Most of our time we live like robots, governed by unconscious programs that drive also our thoughts and feelings.
My views on introversion
Introversion is not an illness and has many advantages, just like extraversion. Perhaps it is a good thing for mankind, that in the general population introverts are less than 50%. it would be good if introverts and extraverts know and respect each other, but i am afraid that extraverts are not able to understand introversion and are inclined to think of it as a handicap and a mental disorder, which is not true.
Do I think that Man is fundamentally good or evil?
Both, in different proportions from person to person, determined by genetic factors and individual experiences. I believe, in general, that Man is good towards those that he considers members of its own community and bad or indifferent towards all the others, who he sees as a threat to one's security and well being.
My views on fashion
I don't like fashions. I think that what is really beautiful is universal and timeless.
Miscellaneous  
The things I consider most important for a life worth living
- Freedom to express one's own particular nature
- a united family
- some true friendships
- a decent job
- a home
- being respected by the others
How much free time I have
Much
Some books I have read in the last 12 months
- Vital lies, simple truths (Daneol Goleman)
- Pragmatics of human communication (Paul Watzlawick)
- Community (Zymunt Bauman)
Advice I would to give to myself
- Don't feed who is not hungry
- Don't trust simple solutions to complex problems
- Remember that nobody is ready to change if not compelled to do it or has no incentive
Advice I would give to others in general
We must be aware of the fact that our mind deceives and delude us all the time and we should try to understand how it works by means of psychology. Our mid lets us see what does not hurt us, not what is true and real. In any case, simple solutions to complex problems are usually cause of worse problems.
If I had to spend one month on a desert island, what would I take with me
Food, good books, something to write.
What I predict will happen in the world in the coming thirty years
Social and enivironmental catasftrophes, but alst civil progress. Internet will be ever mightier and indispensable. Its potential is still largely unknown.
How familiar I am with computers and technology
Much, also because I am an IT professional.
What I would say to God if I met Him
Please talk directly with each of us, without proxies.
What I would like to say to all human beings
Let's respect and help each other, let's overcome our prejudices, our certainties and let's cooperate to buikd a new humanist society based on scientific knowledge which can help us to satisfy our deepest needs.
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