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Public page of Newman

Newman

Humanist, blogger, web developer

I am the creator of this site, which I hope will be useful to many people who wish to establish deeper and more meaningful human relations and improve the current ones. For any questions, comments, suggestions and collaboration proposals, do not hesitate to contact me.

Age: 68     Gender: M
Languages: English | French | German | Italian
Seek/offer: Self-knowledge | mutual knowledge | friendship | language exchange | intellectual co-operation
Education: High school
Religion: Atheist or agnostic
Psychological type: Introvert
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Member of: Vivere con filosofia, UAAR, Createca, Caffè Freud
Time since last visit: 2 weeks
Country: Germany   State/Province: Bayern
City: Munich    Zip Code: 83083
Skype name: visible only to registered users
Profession: Manager
Smoker: No
Current relationship: Married
Living with: With spouse or partner
Answers to self-interview: 141 (it)   137  
Personal web site: visible only to registered users
Social network: visible only to registered users
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Self-interview  

Introduction
My interests, hobbies, habits- Social sciences (especially psychology, sociology, philosophy)
- collecting aphorisms and quotations
- developing web applications
- photographing
- improving my skills in foreign languages.
- playing the flute
- I spend a lot of time with my computer, writing my thoughts, developing software, looking for information, reading;
- I am member of various cultural associations
Details about what I seek and offerI am looking for persons who share my interests,.for company and exchange of ideas
Things that worry me in my lifeMy difficulty to adapt to the mindset of 'normal' people
Things that worry me in the lives of the persons who are important to meI hope my children will meet the right persons with whom to build their families
Things that worry me in the lives of all human beings- resistance to change
- risk of local and global wars
- environment pollution and climate change
- overpopulation and global poverty
My personality
My nature and characterCalm, reflective, introvert, affectionate, serious, conscientious, determined
How introvert / extravert I amIntrovert
What I find good/beautiful in lifeThe possibility of learning new things, creating, changing and improving things within and outside myself.
What I find bad/ugly in lifeThe incomprehension between human beings
How easily I feel shyWhen I was young I used to be shy, not any more
How stable is my moodQuite stable
I prefer to lead or follow?Leading
How conformist I amVery little
How orderly and inclined to discipline I amMuch
How important sincerity is for meVery much; if I have to lie I feel bad
How jealous I amAverage
How envious I amI never envy a person for their possessions or their success. I may envy persons for their beauty, strength, intelligence, wisdom, courage and usefulness to society.
How arrogant or presumptuous I amI don't think I am arrogant or presumptuous. However I am sometimes perceived so because I have personal ideas that I like to express and discuss. And also because I can hardly refrain from objecting any statements that I consider wrong or false.
How lazy I amAverage
How creative I think I amMore than average
How much I fear deathI am not afraid of dying, although I hope this will not happen too soon, because I still have so many things to do.
How much I try to adapt to society as it is and how much I try to change itI cannot accept society as it is and want to do as much as I can reasonably do to contribute to its improvement.
How narcissistic I amAverage
My preferences and tastes
What I appreciate most in a person- the ability to make the others feel at ease
- the ability to laugh at oneself
- the ability to question oneself and doubt of the validity of ones own convictions
My favorite types of readings- non fiction (essays) especially on social sciences and humanism
- some novels with psychological depth
My favorite vacations (places, activities, company etc.)Being retired, I am always on vacation; I prefer to spend my vacations at home; sometimes I like to travel with my family, and explore cultures different than ours.
Films I likeFilms by high quality authors
My favorite music typesClassic, jazz, blues, funk jazz, bossa nova
Persons I consider role modelsIndro Montanelli, Gian Luigi Stella, Corrado Augias, Piero Angela
My favorite sports (watched)I find sport-watching boring
Nutrition forms chosen (vegetarian, vegan, omnivorous etc.)I eat anything, but very little meat. I could live without meat.
Books important to meVedi "libri che mi hanno cambiato la vita"
Traditions I likeNew Year's concert from Wien
Traditions I dislikeReligious traditions
My favorite objectsMy cross trainer, my computer, my camera, my car, my flute
My favorite comedians and humoristsWoody Allen, George Carlin, Gigi Proietti, Loriot, Corrado Guzzanti, Caterina Guzzanti, Paola Cortellesi, Francesca Reggiani, Carlo Verdone, Alberto Sordi
My favorite film directorsStanley Kubrik, Federico Fellini, François Truffaut, Werner Herzog, Clint Eastwood, Paolo Sorrentino, Sidney Lumet, Mario Monicelli, Ettore Scola
My favorite quotesDoing the right thing is more important than doing the thing right (Paul Drucker)

Life is a state of mind. (From the film 'Being There')

Love consists of overestimating the differences between one woman and another. (George Bernard Shaw)

Creativity is connecting things. (Steve Jobs)

When one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion. (Robert M. Pirsig)

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. (Carl Gustav Jung)

Man can do what he wills but he cannot will what he wills. (Arthur Schopenhauer)
My favorite philosophersNietzsche, Schopenhauer
My favorite writersAlbert Camus, Oscar Wilde, Richard Dawkins, Emile Cioran, Balzac, Stendhal, Thomas Mann, Goethe, Alessandro Manzoni, Luigi Anepeta, Erich Fromm, Daniel Goleman, Paul Watzlawick, Eric Berne, Nietzsche, Schopenhauer
My favorite actors / actressesMeryl Streep, Clint Easwood, Vittorio Gassman, Alberto Sordi, Carlo Verdone, Paola Cortellesi, Sofia Loren, Marcello Mastroianni, Toni Servillo, Henry Fonda
My favorite classical music composersMozart, Haendel, J.S. Bach, Liszt, Gershwin
My favorite pop musicians and singersThe Beatles, James Taylor, Luigi Tenco, Sergio Endrigo, Enzo Jannacci, Procol Harum, Paul SImon, Billy Joel, Sergio Cammariere, Stefano Bollani
My favorite townsRome, Munich, Paris
My feelings
My fears- fear of being misunderstood
- fear of being considered arrogant or presumptuous
Things I am passionate aboutCreativity, civil progress
Things that irritate meAdvertising
Things I could never forgiveNothing if the person regrets what has done
How selective I am in social relationsMuch
Things that bore me- Sports watching, commercial music, repetitive things
- nromality
Things that make me sufferIgnorance, stupidity, presumption, conscius and unconscious violence by most people.
Things that move me- act of generosity without second ends
- demonstrations of fraternity and solidarity
Things about which I cannot jokeAboiut misfortune (genetic defects, disabilities etc.)
Things I cannot tolerateLying by adults
Things I am proud ofMy children
Types of persons I hate or despisei prevaricatori che competono con la forza anziché con il talento e la ragione
What I feel for human beings in generalPeople who compete by force instead of talent or reason
How I react to accusations and criticismI worry and try to understand the reasons of accusations and criticism. If I think they are founded, I try to improve (if I think it is possibile and right)
Things that soften meChildren and adults who know how to interact with children
What I like about my workThe sense of power I feel when the computer does exactly what I want from it
My wishes and motivations
My desires- more friends
- do something good for society
- to be able to laugh about things I fear
- understand how mind woks and divulge this knowledge
How satisfied I am of the life I liveI think I am luckier than the average
Things I have missedTrue and deep friendships, teachers who made me love literature, history, the arts
Things I would like to learn- playing the flute well
- speaking German well
Habits I would like to quitThe habit of talking with others about things about which I am passionate but do not interest them.
My projectsWriting a book about human nature
What I would like to change in my mentality I would like to be more flexible in my ideas and opinions
My needs that are dissatisfied or conflictingMy need for community is frustrated and conflicts aganist my need for liberty
Things I would like to knowHow human mind works
What I would do with 100 million dollarsI would create a foundation for the research and divulgation of the humanities
What I want to do before I dieWrite a book with my experiences, to be left ad my legacy
My social relationships
How much I am interested in the ideas and feelings of othersVery much
How much I need other people's approvalMuch, but I can also proceed without it
What I expect from a friend, what true friendship is for me- sincerity, even when truth hurts
- availability to help me when I need it
- absense of envy and jealousy
- understanding of my weaknesses
- respect for my freedom
- common interests and ethical principle
What I am doing for the common goodNot enough
For what I would like to be recognized / appreciatedMore than being recognized, I would like to be desired as friend or collaborator
What I can offer for free- counsulting about computers
How much I am able to understand what the others wish or expect from meNot enough. I often make the mistake of believing that others think like me, that we have similar feelings. Often what they expect from me is very different from what I expect from them.
For what I feel misunderstoodMy ability and inclination to analysis, and my rationality are sometimes seen as arrogance, inhibition, lack of emotions.
Persons who have helped me and to whom I am gratefulMy parents
My story
My successes- when I was appointed officer during my militaty service
- when I was awarded a high rank in the IT course by the first company I worked with
- all the times I looked for a job and found it
- when I was appointed manager
- every time I got a salary increase for my achievements
My failures- the times I was not able to speak in public
- the times I started a project that was not feasible
My first memoriesThe punishments I received from my father because of my disobedience
Disappointments I have hadMy first marriage
Persons against whom I have foughtMy father
Books that changed my life- Knowledge of Man (Alfred Adler)
- Man fo himself (Erich Fromm)
- Escape from freedom (Erich Fromm)
- Manwatching (Desmond Morris)
- Brave new world (Aldous Huxley)
- Timido, docile, ardente... (Luigi Anepeta)
- Tonio Kroeger (Thomas Mann)
- The selfidh gene (Richard Dawkins)
- Vital lies, simple truths (Daniel Goleman)
- Pragmatics of Human Communication (Paul Watzlawick)
- La politica del Super-io (Luigi Anepeta)
- Beyod good and evil (F. Nietzsche)
- Communities (Zygmunt Bauman)
The job that gave me the most satisfactionDeveloping IT applications
Errors I have madeWhen I was young, I did not study and read enough. I thought I already knew all the important things in life.
My self-evaluations
How I appraise myselfEnough
My virtues and qualities- critical thought
- analysis and synthesis
- creativity
- sincerity
- coscientiousness
- reliability
My faults and defects- not realizing when someone is bored while hearing what I say
- I get easily enthusiast for ideas that after a while show their uselessness or non feasibility
How intelligent I think I amMore than average
How much I feel useful, and to whom- to my relatives
- to my suppliers of goods and services
In what areas I think I am not competitive, incapabale- in making myself likable
- in understanding other people's feelings
- in foreseeing the behavior of others
- in being diplomatic
In what areas I think I am competitive, capable- in speaking foreign languages
- in writing
- in analyzing problems
- in debating
Whether I think I am a debtor or creditor to societyDebtor
In what way I feel different from the othersI can't be normal, I fear normality
In what way I feel equal to the othersI also need to interact with other human beings, to be integrared in society, to be recognized, taken in consideration, loved, respected.
How mature I think I amNot enough; I always want to grow, to improve.
How free from mental cages I think I amMore than average
My ethics
My ethical principlesI try to follow the ten commandments cited by Richard Dawkins in his book 'The God Delusion':

1. Do not do to others what you would not want them to do to you.
2. In all things, strive to cause no harm.
3. Treat your fellow human beings, your fellow living things, and the world in general with love, honesty, faithfulness and respect.
4. Do not overlook evil or shrink from administering justice, but always be ready to forgive wrongdoing freely admitted and honestly regretted.
5. Live life with a sense of joy and wonder.
6. Always seek to be learning something new.
7. Test all things; always check your ideas against the facts, and be ready to discard even a cherished belief if it does not conform to them.
8. Never seek to censor or cut yourself off from dissent; always respect the right of others to disagree with you.
9. Form independent opinions on the basis of your own reason and experience; do not allow yourself to be led blindly by others.
10. Question everything.
What I think of tax evasion from an ethical point of viewIt's like stealing, with the difference that instead of stealing a big sum of money from a person, one steals a little sum of money form many persons.
My opinion about prostitutionIt's inevitable. The state must not forbid it, but regulate it, in order to limit the exploitation, pedophilia, crime and health hazards. Moreover, it could be taxed.
My opinion about pornographySame answer as for prostitution.
My opinion about homosexuality and bisexualityHomosexuality (alone or as bisexuality) is not an illness or a deficiency, but a preference, probably of genetic origin. It should be respected as a human right. Homofoby should be punished ad any other violation of human rights. I am also in favor of child adoption by homosexual couples.
My opinion about abortionIt's an exclusive right of the woman concerned.
My opinion about altruism and egotismThay are both present in our DNA, in proportions different from person to person. Both have their reasons. This world would be much better and confortable if there were more altruism and less egotism. In any case, it is important to understand other people's needs besides our own ones.
My opinion about war and pacifismWar is the most stupid things a human being could do, but absolut pacifism is even mor stupid. In some cases, avoid war would mena to submit oneself to stupid and violent persons or to be destroyed. Hitler would have become master of the entire world if no state would have made the war against him. It's easy to be pacifist when there are nonpacifists that protect you.
My opinion about euthanasiaIt is a right that should be granted to everybody.
My opinion about the death penaltyI am against it
My opinion about torture, and whether I think it should be allowed in particular casesI am absolutely against it
My ideas and views
My religious beliefsI am atheist; I think that religion is a delusion needed by the unconscious in order to overcome the existential anguish due to the idea of death, and the absence of a cosmic father; I think that even the most intelligent people can be blind to the absurdity and the contradictions contained in the sacred scriptures of their religions. I think religions also satisfy the innate need for community, present in every human being.
My views on marriageCome diceva Schopenhauer, "sposarsi significa dimezzare i propri diritti e raddoppiare i propri doveri". Nonostante questo credo sia una cosa buona, se si trova la persona giusta e si ha la disposizione giusta.
Do I believe in destiny? That all things follow a predetermined plan? That nothing happens by chance?No, I believe in the laws of physycs, in genetics and in chance.
My political orientationProgressive, reformist, democrat, partly liberal
Whom I consider responsible for society's illsThe majority of its members, some more, some less
What I think intelligence is, how I would define it- the capacity of processing complex ideas
- the capacity of seeng things in their multiple connections
- the capacity of seeing good and evil in everything and everyone
My views on the use of drugs and their legalizationI don't think drugs are useful; in many cases they are harmful. Nevertheless I think they should be legalized and taxed in order to curbe the crime around them.
What I think of love, how I would define itThere are various types of love, same are even harmful and ill. For me the good love is where one wishes the good for the loved person more than one's own good. This includes wishing to increase the liberty, power and independence of the loved ones.
My philosophical orientationPragmatist, rationalist, constructivist, structuralist
What I think an individual can do to improve societyTry to understand human nature by means of science, avoiding to believe in religious and traditional teachings.Look for alternative ways to interact and communicate, based on scientific discoveries, especially from neuroscience and psychology
My views on masturbationIt's no problem, neither medical nor moral
My views on psychology, psychotherapy, psychologists and psychotherapistsThere is no unique psychology nor a unique type of psychotherapy. There are many, and most of them have something valid. is it an error to pick one and not consider the other ones. Psychologies, together with neuosciences are necessary in order to understand human nature and help those who suffer mental disorders. As regards professionals of psychology and psychotherapy, there are good and bad ones and it is very important to be able to choose the right ones.
My views on astrologySilly things
My views on esoterism and magicWithout scientific proof, I do not take them in consideration.
My views on reincarnationI doubt it is possibile, there are non scientific proofs about it.
My views on religions different from mineI believe all religions are based on delusion and self-delusion
My views on free will (reality or delusion?)I am afraid it is a delusion, however I prefer thinking that it exists, although in rare moments. Most of our time we live like robots, governed by unconscious programs that drive also our thoughts and feelings.
My views on introversionIntroversion is not an illness and has many advantages, just like extraversion. Perhaps it is a good thing for mankind, that in the general population introverts are less than 50%. it would be good if introverts and extraverts know and respect each other, but i am afraid that extraverts are not able to understand introversion and are inclined to think of it as a handicap and a mental disorder, which is not true.
Do I think that Man is fundamentally good or evil?Both, in different proportions from person to person, determined by genetic factors and individual experiences. I believe, in general, that Man is good towards those that he considers members of its own community and bad or indifferent towards all the others, who he sees as a threat to one's security and well being.
My views on fashionI don't like fashions. I think that what is really beautiful is universal and timeless.
Miscellaneous
The things I consider most important for a life worth living- Freedom to express one's own particular nature
- a united family
- some true friendships
- a decent job
- a home
- being respected by the others
How much free time I haveMuch
Some books I have read in the last 12 months- Vital lies, simple truths (Daneol Goleman)
- Pragmatics of human communication (Paul Watzlawick)
- Community (Zymunt Bauman)
Advice I would to give to myself- Don't feed who is not hungry
- Don't trust simple solutions to complex problems
- Remember that nobody is ready to change if not compelled to do it or has no incentive
Advice I would give to others in generalWe must be aware of the fact that our mind deceives and delude us all the time and we should try to understand how it works by means of psychology. Our mid lets us see what does not hurt us, not what is true and real. In any case, simple solutions to complex problems are usually cause of worse problems.
If I had to spend one month on a desert island, what would I take with meFood, good books, something to write.
What I predict will happen in the world in the coming thirty yearsSocial and enivironmental catasftrophes, but alst civil progress. Internet will be ever mightier and indispensable. Its potential is still largely unknown.
How familiar I am with computers and technologyMuch, also because I am an IT professional.
What I would say to God if I met HimPlease talk directly with each of us, without proxies.
What I would like to say to all human beingsLet's respect and help each other, let's overcome our prejudices, our certainties and let's cooperate to buikd a new humanist society based on scientific knowledge which can help us to satisfy our deepest needs.